Chalk Paint Project

After my last post, some of you asked for me to do a post about my furniture upcycling project whenever I was finished. Well, I'm finally finished!

Here is the before and after and I couldn't be more pleased with myself or how it turned out.

I found lots of pictures on Pinterest of this old Thomasville French Provencial china cabinet...like the exact same one that I bought...and it gave me lots of ideas for what I wanted to do with mine.

I ended up using the Annie Sloan chalk paint...I used French Linen and Old White...straight up, no mixing colors. I didn't distress or use dark wax either...just a coat of clear wax buffed up real nice and shiny.

One thing that I did and I'm glad that I did it is taking off the doors up top. I wasn't sure if I'd feel like it looked naked, but I think it modernized the piece without taking away all of the character. Also, I replaced the pulls with knobs! I LOVE knobs! The above pic is missing two of them because I bought out Hobby Lobby and they had to order more. I tried to place a special order for two knobs and they looked at me like I was crazy. But I was kind of nervous that they wouldn't get anymore and I'd be short. Rest assured, they came in and I bought them and I don't have a drawer that's missing knobs. 

Not a great photo above...but I wanted one of the entire room and this is the only light in the whole room so it had to be on. You can see that my dining room table is a dark wood finish and I wanted a different color than brown for the new piece, since so much of our furniture is brown. Brown dining table...brown leather sectional...brown bookcase...brown sofa table...brown entertainment center...brown end tables...ok, you get the point. I think the neutral colors I picked complement the room great by adding some interest and contrast while not competing for attention or being too loud.

Also...all of this is just my opinion...I don't have a design background or even all that much confidence in my taste, so if you're looking at this like, "girl...get a clue", you might be right. 

I took a bunch of pictures of my progress so I could keep track of things and send updates to my mom...although I wasn't all that great about sending the updates real time. I thought it was super fun to take everything apart...we got a new power drill that has a cord (so it NEVER dies! Woohoo!) 

 My husband was a little nervous after the first coat dried that it was going to need like 12 coats...but he's one of those painters that tries achieve full coverage in one coat. Don't even get me started. This is what one coat is supposed to look like.

It ended up taking 2 coats of the French Linen and 3 coats of the Old White. I loved every minute of the painting. I thought it was so fun to see the transformation. Oh I also bought the Annie Sloan paint brush and wax brush because I wanted to make sure that I didn't screw it up. I figured as a rookie, I needed all the help I could get. 

 I didn't take photos of it, but I ended up filling the holes in the drawers and drilling new ones for the knobs. I like pulls but I couldn't find any that I liked and I think knobs are wonderful. So I needed new holes that were more spaced apart.

Y'all...waxing was seriously a work out. And I read all these things that said that the wax makes it "come alive" so I was kind of expecting some spectacular show.  Well I didn't have such a revealing time with my wax. It definitely makes the piece feel finished...if you don't wax the chalk paint, it scratches if you look at it wrong and it feels rough and chalky. You definitely have to wax but it's like, not that exciting. I also watched a tutorial video that put all kinds of fear in me about using too much wax. So I spent an evening waxing this bottom piece only to go out the next day and realize I had done absolutely nothing besides rub a slightly greasy brush all over my still chalky chalk paint.

So I'd say the waxing step took me the longest because it just wasn't all that fun for me. It made me feel like, ok...I really don't want to do this to every piece of furniture in my house. It just didn't provide the initial transformation that the paint gave (which was fun and exciting) and it took some elbow grease, which I was kind of not in the mood for at 9:30pm, which was usually the time I was working on it. 

When the waxing was done, I did love putting the piece back together...reconnecting the doors, bringing it inside and stacking the pieces on top in their final resting spot...yeah, that's good for the soul.

I've spent a little bit of time putting some of my favorite things on the shelves and let me tell you, there is an art to decorating one of these. My rules...which are in no way founded in anything other then my own personal opinion is to stay balanced (which honestly is very unlike me...I am a sucker for asymmetry), stick with neutrals, show off your favorite things and put as much breakable stuff as possible on the higher shelves. Also...go to Home Goods to find some fun fillers.

Also...that lamp doesn't go there. My three-year-old just thinks that we're moving all of the things over to this part of the room now. :)

So after it was all said and done...my sweet and supportive husband was all..."You could totally sell this for a couple grand. How about you do this to make some dolla' bills?"

Stay tuned...

ha...just kidding!

Close Calls

Is there anyone else out there who feels like their entire existence is just a long string of close calls? I feel like this is my life right now. It's terrifying, emotional, gratitude-inducing and honestly, kind of annoying. Like, could we just not have these things happen FOR ONCE!

Take last night, my husband has been putting our 3 year old to bed so that I can work on this upcycling project that I created for myself when I stopped by an estate sale in my neighborhood two weeks ago. In short...I bought an old china cabinet...because we've been married for 6 years and we don't have anywhere to put that expensive china that everyone told me that we needed when we were receiving wedding gifts! Why did nobody tell me that I would need a Caribbean vacation for my 6 year anniversary? Or a lifetime supply of pedicures? Where was that gift on my wedding registry?

But anyways, I do need one and I've wanted one for awhile but just didn't really have the time or energy to think about it. Not that I have an abundance of time or energy right now, but that Estate Sale sign was just calling my name. So I went in and I bought it...here's a before, just because pictures are nice in breaking up blog posts.

Ok, so back to my original thought...

My husband was putting our son to bed without me and it was taking a REALLY long time. I was in the garage working and thought that maybe I should go check on them. When I opened the door, I was greeted by the lovely sight of my son standing up on top his dresser while my husband is passed out asleep in his bed. Um...excuse me while I hand out "Parent of the Year" awards to myself and my husband. Oh...it was 9:45 at night. 

(For anyone who is not a parent that is WAY too late for a 3 year old to be awake)

What if I hadn't walked in? I'll give you one guess as to what the next step is for my firstborn after he has climbed up on top of a dresser and then stood completely up. If you said "jumping off" you'd be right. I'm guessing he would have hurled his body onto his bed right on top of my unassuming, slumbering husband.

Not even 24 hours later, (that's a fancy way to say, this afternoon), we were driving home from playing with some friends when I had to hit my brakes a little hard for a red light. The trash from our "special treat" Chick-fil-a lunch, ice cream cup included, went hurling into the floorboard of my passenger seat. Without even thinking...I leaned over to pick it up so that the sticky melted ice cream remains didn't spill all over the place. What I failed to do was put my car in PARK!

Y'all, when I had retrieved the trash from what I thought would have been a devastating disaster spill, I looked up to see that my car had drifted into the intersection where oncoming traffic had been given free range by their green light to drive in the exact spot I was sitting in. What is even more panic-inducing is that a car had just made a left turn onto the street I was coming from...I don't know how to explain that better because I'm not a drivers ed teacher. But basically...that car should have hit me. I don't know if it was a timing thing or if he swerved out of the way of my drifting car, but it seems...it REALLY SEEMS like that was a miracle. 

It also was a miracle that no other cars were coming through the intersection at that very moment. 

It was a miracle that my son didn't jump off of his dresser and bust himself up last night. 

It is a miracle that my heart is pumping and my lungs are breathing and my babies were born with their vital organs functioning. 

A miracle.

I think we like to come up with reasons not to believe in miracles. I think we like to excuse things that happen as coincidences, when really, they are divine protections over us. It's easy to flippantly say that it was a lucky break, but I choose to think that God values me more then that. I think he has plans for me that require him to save me daily from myself. 

I know sometimes that those close calls turn into disasters. Sometimes we can understandably look at God and say, where were you on that one? What happened that time? I don't have all of the answers for those...but I know that sometimes, the easy route or the route we had planned doesn't always end up being the best thing. I know that every single person will have things happen to them that they wouldn't choose and that all of us carry different loads with us. It's not a fair world we live in...that's why it's so good that it's not all that there is for us. You are so valuable...you are worth more than being left up to chance.

We may dismiss significant events in our lives as coincidences, but I think that deep down, we know that there's more to it. We know we are worth so much more. I mean, aren't we? When I turned around and looked at my babies in the backseat of my car today, I know the answer is yes. 

So if we can't dismiss our close calls, we can't dismiss our existence either. We know we were created for SOMETHING. We have a purpose. We need to stop thinking unintentionally about our days. And definitely stop thinking about things that happen to us as accidents. So before you start thinking about the Friends episode where Ross has a "near-death experience" when a car backfired, I'll just say one more thing.

I can't help but be really grateful for the close calls. They snap me out of a daily, un-engaging existence to an awareness of gratitude and joy. And they make for some pretty good stories too...

Personal but not private

Any writer or blogger will admit to anyone that there is a whole mess of unedited writing somewhere that they have written in some moment of acute revelation that will never be seen by another human eye.  If I’m honest, I have these short blurbs of self-disclosure all over the place. I have notes on my phone that I’ve dictated while sitting at a stop light, accent errors and all. I have fully written blogs that were heart felt in the moment and expressed quite eloquently but read back later sounded “preachy” or irrelevant. I have like 7 journals so that if I need to take notes or remember something, I can write it down. It’s nothing short of a cluster. No one will ever see any of it, and I’m ok with that.

I’ve been relatively silent on this particular venue because there’s an audience…be it, rather small. Words are incredibly important, and when you put them on the internet, they can be etched in digital stone whether I know it or not. So I contemplate much more deeply whether or not something should be published here. Foolishness spreads much quicker than wisdom with social media, which I think we all know. I’ve also been silent because I have felt a particular nudging from the Lord to write transparently and honsetly about Him…To use this as a semi-public platform to discuss and praise Him.

That’s not necessarily what I had in mind when I created the domain. I kinda wanted this to be a light-hearted space just for me. Gee that sounded selfish. A space to discuss recipes and natural skin care and coffee shops and crafts…things that are a little less weighty. But I’ve recently felt as if that’s really not what God is calling me to. It’s to the point that anytime I sit down to write something, I can’t think of anything besides what He is teaching me on my faith journey. I wrote an entire blog post about Leah, Jacob’s wife in Genesis, because my heart just broke for her as I read her story for the 100^th time. And I was drawn into her person and I saw her through God’s eyes as she lived her entire life with a husband who chose someone else over her. But I didn’t publish it because…I don’t want to sound preachy. I don’t want to be that crazy person who can’t talk about anything else. Who wants to read about Leah?

I’m writing today because I read something that maybe has changed everything for me. “It’s important to keep our relationships with God personal, but not private”. (From She Reads Truth Lent study) Personal, but not private. What if the authors of the Bible (Moses, Jeremiah, Luke, Paul, Timothy, etc) didn’t want to “sound too preachy”? What if the people who told the stories about the Exodus from Egypt, or David and Goliath, or Daniel with the Lions never wrote it down and shared it? Those parts of God’s redemption story…they might not be known by us today. It wouldn’t make God any less powerful, but we would just not have those stories to point to and praise Him for things he has done. “God has scripted an enormous and lovingly elaborate story of love and provision for his people.” (SRT) Read that quote one more time…it’s exciting. He has done great things and performed marvelous rescues of his people from the beginning of time.

I love thinking about God as our great rescuer and about my relationship with Him as a love story. It totally and completely satiates my desire for the Disney fairytale that I heard and dreamed about as a child. We are part of a great love story…no matter who we are….single, married, divorced, widowed, old, young, male, female. All of us. We are (present tense) all the object of God’s affections and desires, so much that we don’t have to daydream about becoming a Disney princess or watch a romantic comedy to experience it.

Why is it important to make our relationships with our creator and sustainer personal but not private? For those times that life is hard. God has an incredible track record of remaining faithful to His people throughout generations in all circumstances. He will not turn his back on us. He will pursue us and mold us and be faithful to us. When life gets hard, (because it does) we need to be able to look back and remember that God is faithful. He has carried each of us through and has done so for thousands of years. In order for us to reference that…stories have to be shared.

So I’m just rolling with this. It’s not really what I had in mind, but it’s the topic that I continue to want to write about. And it’s alright if a lot of things that I write are never seen by anyone else. And it’s ok if people would rather read light-hearted, humor-filled blogs instead of this. I am definitely that person sometimes. But I don’t know if I have much to contribute to that genre of writing. We’ll see how this goes…please don’t expect professionalism, or wisdom or clever puns but definitely transparency and obedience. And yes, still some of my favorite “reality food” recipes. 

Drawing Near

So I have to confess that I woke up this morning kind of dreading this day. In fact, I went to sleep last night dreading it. On the surface level, it's because I've had at least one kid sick almost every day for the past 3 weeks and today is no different. They're both struggling with a virus that has germs being coughed and snotted all over my house, myself and each other. It's no surprise that every time one of them seems to get a leg up and feel better, the virus gets passed right back to them and we're down for the count again. 

We're stuck at home. It's freezing outside. We haven't had much, if any human interaction with anyone else for almost a week. Hindsight proves that we shouldn't have even been out then, even though I thought we were done.

Any parent knows that this is wearing. We've all experienced it before, and we'll do it again. We're helpless to do much to change the situation and that loss of control in your role as a parent is quite disconcerting. 

Peel back that surface level of non-ideal circumstances and you'll find me...moody, stomping around, getting frustrated way too easily and lashing out at my husband whenever he gets home from work, or if he doesn't subconsciously know what I expected him to do or if he just happens to be in the same room as me. What's more disconcerting than a loss of parental control over temporary circumstances is that I can so easily allow those circumstances to steal my joy. 

I am so thankful that God doesn't give up that easily on me. He continues to pursue me even when I turn away from him, sit down in my shallow circumstances and pout about my life. Something I read this morning stopped me in my tracks..."As you come close to Jesus, the world around you will transform and become more beautiful and radiant because you are changed."

I immediately understood the source of my grumpiness. It wasn't the powerlessness of sick kids, loneliness from being quarantined, or anything that my husband said or did. It was my choice to let my circumstances steal my identity and define the way I saw the world. It was my passivity in not drawing close to the Lord and instead to try to manage myself on my own. It doesn't look or feel like a dramatic rebellion, so it's something you don't even recognize as it's happening. But every single day I need him to heal me, redeem me, accept me, and save me. And every day he invites me and accepts me to do that. 

Gratitude is a big thing for me so I talk about it a lot. That might incorrectly make it seem like it's something I do well, but no, I'm actually very naturally bent toward feeling sorry for myself when things aren't as they should be. (That's a nice way of saying I like things to go my way). Gratitude is something that I have to actively seek or else I won't have it on my own. I've seen the fruit of a grateful heart though. I've seen how the world actually does transform and become more beautiful when I see it through a grateful lens. It's a simple and at the same time, powerful tool to transform a broken, moody, impatient and unloving heart into a heart full of joy.

The same message has met my ears a few times in the past few weeks but I had no idea how it applied to me. That message was that "there is no sin that is bigger than the cross of Christ." 
What?
Why is this truth being repeated to me from multiple sources? 
I mean, obviously, it's true...but the context didn't apply. But I believe that anytime something repeats itself,that it's not an accident. I think this is it. 

When we struggle against the same thing, it may be incredibly frustrating to us, but God doesn't give up on us. He wants us to continue that struggle. He wants to help us gain victory. He wants us to know that even though we said that the last time was the last time, and then we failed again, that he still pursues us. He doesn't change. He doesn't give up.That truth overshadows and trumps any circumstances the enemy can throw our way. If for nothing else, I am so grateful for that. 

Popping Corn Snack

I thought I'd post a quick reality food snack because I've been wanting to post something but my thoughts are completely jumbled about a lot of different topics and I'm finding it hard to write them out...probably a combination of some negative circumstances and a lack of sleep. Anyways, I'm totally against writing if it doesn't flow from you. It becomes choppy and awkward to read and I refuse to be that person just writing to write. 

So one of my favorite reality snacks is popping corn! We all love it really! It's super easy to make and replaces those microwavable bags that supposedly are slowly killing us all.

What you do...

A bag of popcorn kernels is pretty cheap and can be stored in the freezer. When you're ready to snack, heat a large pot on the stovetop and add 2-3 tbsp of oil. My favorite to use is coconut oil because YUM! But you can use anything...olive oil, butter...whatevs.

We usually make 1/4 cup or maybe 1/3 cup at a time and that's PLENTY for everyone to be quite full! Add just 3 or 4 individual kernels to the oil as it melts down and cover your pot with the lid until they pop. It's super fun to watch if you have a clear lid! 

As soon as they pop, pour the rest of the kernels into the oil, cover with the (hopefully) clear lid and shimmy that pan around on the heated stovetop. This part won't take long, they should all pop up real quick because the oil is already heated to the right temperature. Three-year-olds LOVE this part!

While the oil and your 3-4 kernels are heating up, grab whichever spices you want to use for seasoning! This is the best part because you can season your popcorn however you want and you can make incredibly delicious popcorn without drenching it (and your arteries) in butter. My go-to mixture is garlic powder, parsley, and paprika. I don't measure them out...just season to your taste. Add these to the popcorn once it's popped but still hot.

Other seasonings I've tried individually and in combinations are red pepper flakes, chili powder, basil, and oregano. I'm also not against a small amount of salt. You could also do a cinnamon and nutmeg blend if sweet popcorn is your jam.

And there you have it...a delicious snack full of good fiber and not drenched in fat. I've also heard that fiber from whole grains can actually strip your arteries of cholesterol buildup...and that's a GREAT thing that your movie-theater popcorn is definitely not doing for you. 

Comments by Anonymous

If you've known me long enough, you know that I used to have a blog under this exact same name domain. It was right after college and I was living in a 700 square foot apartment in downtown Dallas by myself. 

Living alone was not my jam. I hadn't spent more than maybe 30 minutes by myself in the past four years...living in a dorm, having roommates, working at summer camps, studying abroad. Everything I had done, I had done with other people. People I loved, and still love, very much. 

Suddenly, college ended and like many, I was kind of seriously unprepared for reality. I landed a great job with a great boss and a great team of coworkers, but I was still a kid. I was completely immature and I knew absolutely nothing. That's the thing about college grads...they have a certificate of paper telling them they know everything they need to know, when actually, most of them know nothing about anything.

Blogging was a new thing, so I figured I'd jump on it and share my complete lack of knowledge with the world. 

I shake my head at some of the things I wrote down.

I wonder at my lack of restraint. 

So what happened? Why is this a brand new blog that doesn't date back to 2005?

Because I deleted it.

Sometime in 2012, I wandered back onto that blog after it had sat dormant for about 3 years. As I re-read old posts and clicked through the settings of my forgotten blog, I realized that I had unknowingly set the "comments" section to require approval before a comment could publicly post. To my surprise, I had a handful of comments that I had never seen. A few of them were light-hearted nods of approval posted by friends but most of them were posted by "anonymous".

The comments were heart-wrenching. 

This anonymous person clearly knew me and was clearly not fond of me. I read the blatant and frank honesty with shock and resentment. Who did I know in my life who would say such things? It was futile to try to guess who had written these words over 5 years ago, but they pierced me deeply. 

So deeply, that I deleted the whole blog that very day.

You see, the comments weren't hateful or threatening. They weren't name-calling from some random person on the internet. The comments were true.

They were true things about my 20 year old self that I had since grown out of. Things that were a part of my old self that I had taken off and put away since receiving a new understanding of the grace of Jesus. These things were descriptions of what I used to be. 

Upon reading them years later, it brought back feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction with myself. It was painful, and I devoted more thoughts to them than I probably should have.

Looking back, I am glad that the comments came from "anonymous". We all have a protective instinct that when we hear something we don't like, we don't accept it. We may ask for the truth from someone, but if they tell us a truth we don't want to hear, we think something is wrong with them. 

"Does this outfit look good?"
"No"
(thinking) "yes it does, who asked you anyways"

If I had known who wrote it, I would have blamed that person, possibly blaming my hurt feelings on their lack of sensitivity. I don't know...maybe that person is still in my life. But it doesn't matter. 

I admit that reading the words stung me. But it didn't take long for me to remember that I am a new creation. I am a daughter of the Living God and he determines my value...things from my past, things I've done or failed to do....they have no bearing.

Also because I am on a journey of sanctification, I should be seeing growth in myself.  I should be able to look back and realize that I am becoming MORE like Christ...which means that I was previously LESS like him. When you have moved towards the light, the darkness should look darker. I should be THANKFUL that he has brought me out of my previous place and for the place that he is taking me in the future. 

This means that those little reminders of who we used to be, they should actually be opportunities to praise God for what he has done for us individually. Do you know the story of the woman in Luke 7 who washes Jesus's feet with her tears and her hair?! 

First of all, how awkward must that scene have been?

From the time Jesus entered the house, she had not stopped KISSING his feet. She washed his feet with her tears, y'all! I mean, think about how much ugly crying must have had to take place for her to create enough tears to WASH his feet. This "sinful woman", who was definitely NOT on the Evite for dinner at the Pharisee's house, heard through the grapevine that she could see Jesus if she just had the guts to crash the party. And she did...she who was forgiven much, loved Jesus much.

What does this have to do with my old blog and the nasty anonymous comments?

Because we've all been forgiven of so much. We've all been completely without hope. Then...we are saved. We become a new creation and we begin a new journey that is filled with a new joy and a new hope. Our lives begin to look different and we begin to forget about that person that we used to be. What's wonderful is that Jesus does too.

But we need to seriously remember that we have all been forgiven of so much. Those comments may have been true about who I was then, but they are NOT who I am in Christ. I cringe when I hear people say that Christians think they are "better than others". This is so NOT Christianity. Good behavior is NOT Christianity. Being successful or being happy...also NOT. 

Forgiveness...Humility....Grace....

That's what it's about.

Also...my auto-correct had to fix my spelling of 'anonymous' every. single. time.

Reality Food

Real food.

Ah...what a wonderful thing.

I mean, how could a person live in Austin and not love real food?

The concept of eating real food is something that my generation in general did not grow up with. If it seemed semi-healthy and was easy to prepare, our parents fixed it. If it fixed itself in a microwave and flavored itself with a plastic pouch of unknown powders and flakes (or a can of cream of chicken), it was a winner. 

Why not?

Nobody lived on farms anymore. Nobody had time to grow a garden. Can you imagine the isolation someone would have endured in the early 90's for owning chickens that laid eggs!

Now it's all the rage, and I think it's really great. I'm the first one to say that I'd like for our family to eat healthy, all-natural foods. I love the concept of "real" food and eliminating unnecessary chemicals, flavors and "artificial anything" from my home.

But let's just be real for a minute...I just can't do it right now! 

So I've made up the term "reality food".

Reality food is food that I can actually manage to prepare and feed my family without having a nervous breakdown. It's food that is responsible and healthy, but not obsessive and all-consuming. It's real food with some shortcuts. And frankly, I'd rather snuggle up with my kids on the couch reading a book or (gasp) watching tv, then spend every evening chopping fresh vegetables in the kitchen alone. 

I'm giving myself that freedom. I'm praying that it doesn't mess them up in the end, but really, I don't think it will. 

I was much better at preparing and serving my family real food before there were TWO tiny humans in this house to keep alive. I pinned all kinds of recipes on Pinterest...and I even cooked a lot of them! I developed some good habits and purged some bad ones. I stopped buying all of the things that are on those lists and replaced them with healthier options and that became part of our current lifestyle. I even made my first attempt at an edible garden. I recognized how my body stopped craving things that had the dreaded high fructose corn syrup and I felt incredibly satisfied by the lifestyle changes reflected in my grocery cart and kitchen. I think I'll probably include a lot of those changes in future blogs. 

But then I had a baby and when my meal calendar ran out, I was hungry. :)
And I didn't have the brain cells or the stocked groceries for my previous cooking habits. I knew I needed to modify. 

Enter "reality food"

Reality food is quick to prepare...and it's good. It's NOT a step backwards. It's not a lazy approach, in my opinion, it's a smart approach. I know everyone won't agree. 

Someday, I'll get back to my quest for real food. But for now, when I write food posts, they will be recipes for reality food. So they won't be cutting-edge or trendy. They will be recipes that require less ingredients, less time and less stress. I have found a real lack of these types of recipes or food suggestions in my cookbooks or on Pinterest...maybe I'm just not looking in the right place.

Hopefully you will thank me and not feel sorry for my children, who do occasionally end up with some high fructose corn syrup on their plates.

*Photos are Trader Joes Pumpkin Bread and Muffin mix...in a box. And they are divine. Plus I added chocolate chips, which makes them totally unique and inventive...