Holistic care

I've become incredibly good at procrastinating. I think this semester is going to be the most difficult to take finals because I would so much rather concentrate on the fact that I'm getting married in less than a month. My first semester back was hard b/c I hadn't taken finals in 3 years, but this I think might be worse. I've done everything I can think of doing except study- I've done laundry, I started a blog for me and Justin once we're married, I've worked out a lot more than normal, I've cooked, I've worked on the wedding, I've watched a few episodes of Law and Order SVU. I literally have nothing else to do right now except study...and I just don't want to. That is bad to admit, especially because I'm studying to be a nurse...and you want your nurse to be smart! I've done really well focusing all semester long, but my heart is just not in it this month. I'm not too worried about it though in the long run, I think it's just a temporary thing because of the wedding. I know this because I'm already planning on (and kind of excited about) buying an NCLEX review for my summer studying. I will take my state boards (the NCLEX) after I graduate in December and I'm already planning on incorporating the knowledge from my past 3 semesters and putting it all together for my finals.

I am extremely grateful for this career path that has been made available to me. I can't wait to have the knowledge to be a "real" nurse...I feel like Pinnochio saying "I want to be a real boy". I've found that in nursing school they actually teach you and want you to incorporate spiritual care into your patient's care plan. This is amazing to me. It was hard at first, because ever since I've been alive (and longer), the world has screamed to be quiet about the Gospel. Nobody wants to have their rights stepped on by somebody else, nobody wants to be "offended". This has caused a fear in me to talk about anything spiritual, when in reality, that is just not realistic. Everyone believes in something. Everybody needs a way to deal with hurt. Everybody asks "why" when bad things happen...some people just have an answer to that question. As a nurse, I am not allowed, nor would I ever push my beliefs on someone else. But as a nurse, I am required to spiritually assess and maintain that my patient is recieving proper care and has a desired spiritual outlet. Initially I thought this would mean that I just had to deal with whatever voodoo religions would be going on in my patients rooms. However, this is not really the case. Most of my patients have not given this aspect of their lives a second thought, but they are curious, they are screaming to know where to put their faith, b/c they are scared and they are mad and they are so many different things.

When I was in Nicaragua last summer, a patient came to the health clinic for some help. The patient was an older woman, probably in her late 70's or early 80's and her 50-something year old daughter was there to speak for her. The daughter said that her mom had just not been the same, that she was easily irritated and mean. She didn't eat, talk, smile...she was not the same person. She wanted to see what the physician from America (my dad) could do for her. As I observed, I thought to myself...she's just getting old. There's nothing really to do. Instead of saying that, my dad told her that sometimes when there is no medicine, the only thing we can do for the people we love is to pray for them. Tears started streaming down the daughters face and she asked if my dad would pray for her because she didn't know how. The non-air conditioned, stuffy room with no electricity that in no way resembled a physicians office suddenly became a holy place. I don't know what happened to those women, but they left with nothing more than being prayed over. I will never forget that. I know people need their nurses to provide nursing care, give medications, perform therapy, and provide a sense of security and safety in a scary place. I'd like to do those things, but I also think it's an amazing opportunity to just pray with people sometimes.

Letter from an atheist

I read a letter today that was written by an atheist to an evangelical pastor. He writes in anger that Christians surround him, yet don't tell him about Jesus. In my years as a Christian, I have never considered this perspective, but it is incredibly obvious and I can't believe I haven't seen it before now. He asks the Christian, "If you believed one bit that 1000's every day were falling into an eternal and unchangeable fate, you should be running the streets mad with rage at their blindness. That's equivalent to standing on a street corner and watching every person that passes you walk blindly directly into the path of a bus and die, yet you stand idly by and do nothing." He goes on to basically challenge the Christian "are you just selfish and uncaring or do you really not believe"?

When I think about my own faith, I feel like it is one of the main things about me that defines me. Anyone who knows me well should know this about me. Which brings me to this...why have I not actively shared my faith with everyone who knows me well? And what about those people who I only spend a short amount of time with? Someone who is in the hospital for just a day...in line at the post office...checking out at the make-up counter at the mall? These are all people that I've spent time with in the past 2 weeks, yet have failed to have intentional conversations with. My answer unfortunately (or fortunately) to the atheist's question is not that I don't believe. It's that I'm selfish. It's that I'm worried about what he will think about me. I've been taught ever since I was a little girl that I need to be politically correct and non-judgemental about EVERYTHING in life. This is now being re-hammered in to my brain in nursing school. We are not allowed to judge patients for ethical decisions that they have made, or are in the process of making.

I am not trying to make any excuses to this atheist. He is right...I am selfish and it is wrong. And all the saints and martyrs of the 1st few centuries after Christ walked on this earth would probably be disappointed at my intention to not be judged by the lady in line at the post office for my belief in Jesus Christ. Jesus himself should be too. The beauty of Christianity that is so often forgotten is that when you become a Christian, you don't become more like me (selfish, a people-pleaser), but you start becoming more like Jesus.

There are legalistic things that I don't agree with for my own life. I feel convicted to refrain from certain behaviors and I am encouraged by doing other behaviors. But these "behaviors/activities" don't define my faith. So often, I think we turn evangelism into defining convictions for others that we ourselves feel convicted by. This isn't the case...it's really all about Christ. The atheist in the letter states in his opening line "You are really convinced that you've got all the answers." Well none of us have them. I shouldn't even claim to have them. I should claim to be imperfect, and claim to be in the process of learning humility and grace, so that I can in some small, tiny way resemble Christ to those who don't know him.

I hope this isn't showy...but then again, "not being showy" is what angered this atheist so much into writing his letter. So as a Christian, you really can't win. But I think that's the point.

Trampolines, Balance Beams and Swimming Pools

I love the Olympics. Every two years, on the night of opening ceremony, I clear my schedule and find some other cheesy person who is actually really competitive at heart but is too busy to spend time running 10,000 meters or hopping up and down on a balance beam. This year however, I put on the DVR and went out to see "The Dark Knight" and watched the entire opening ceremonies on Saturday morning. I figure that's pretty much the ultimate win-win...I got to watch the entire opening ceremonies and didn't have to sacrifice my social integrity to stay in and voluntarily watch televison. Of course, I guess I paid $10 to watch a gigantic-sized television in a theatre, but we'll forget about that.

When I was a little girl...er...ever since I can remember until today, I've wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. Every 4 years, when women's gymnastics came on, I'd be flipping around the living room, doing back flips on the couch and calling my friends with trampolines so I could work on my "ups". I'm sure I almost gave my mom (and other moms) heart attacks with all the flipping. In my off years from gymnastics, I'd be a figure skater. I never actually learned to ice skate, but I'd do triple lutz's around my house...get a running start in the living room, jump as high as humanly possible (which I thought was about 6 feet above my head) and spin around as many times as possible...A Triple Lutz. I think I only made it around one time per jump. However I figured once I mastered the technique, all I had to do was put on the skates. Unfortunately, I grew up in Waco, Texas. There were no opportunities to ice skate until I was a ninth-grader and a minor-league hockey team, The Waco Wizards, came to town for two seasons. By this point, it was too late to begin my career as a skater and I'd traded in my dreams for softball and cheerleading. I called the comittee and they rejected my suggestion to make either or both of those part of the 2000 Olympic games.

So I still love watching the Olympics now...I've DVR'ed almost every night so far. I am saddened by the fact that the 17 day phenomenon is almost over. And I've got to say, aside from all the cheating that I keep hearing about, I think China looks like a pretty amazing place to visit. I'd love to go on vacation or just go to feed their hungry gymnasts. In case I don't get to go, I'm gonna keep my eyes open for Jeremy Wariner here. Evidently he runs on treadmills at 24 Hour Fitness, and I have a membership there. Once in college, I got to hold one of his gold medals from 2004 for a Baylor PR event. So I figure I'm gonna try to set that up again once all the athletes get back. Especially Michael Phelps. I'm going to see if I can hook up my iPod to his iTunes and see what he's always listening to. I don't care if I lose all my music, his must be magical or something.

I know I should probably always be cheering for my own country in the Olympics, but I really love when an athlete from Mongolia or Panama or Azerbaijan wins a medal. Many countries send like 4 athletes, have never won a gold medal in 29 Olympics, so if they win...they freak out. I bet the entire country at home freaks out too! Don't get me wrong, I'm a Phelps fan. But the energy that some of these unheard-of athletes show when they win is absolutely moving.

Instructions on life

I'm sitting on the couch in the house that I nanny for. The children are all either asleep or at day camp, so the only sound I can hear is my fingers hitting the keyboard and the washing machine spinning in the laundry room. Quietness is sometimes something that I take for granted because I can generally control my ability to find a moment of it for myself. I also realize how I take for granted the freedom that I have. For the most part, there is nobody in my life to tell me what to do. And on the flip side, there is nobody that depends on me for their safety, training or instructions on life. What I mean by instructions on life are those urky things my mother used to say to me that defined what I should or should not do because she said so. Sometimes those instructions rhymed or had a catchy ring to it. Sometimes they were screamed and accompanied a spanking.

Some of the more commonly used instructions on life by my mother include: "Always read the signs", "A penny saved is a penny earned", "Stop hitting your brother", "I'll give you something to cry about", "Why? Because I said so", "It's better to be safe than sorry". My grandmothers life lessons were always a little more fun. She explained things in a way that made me understand them. When I got the hiccups, she told me that it meant that I was growing. She confirmed my idea that the devil lived in the sewage drain and when we went on walks, if we came near one she and my grandfather would pull my little red wagon (containing me and my brother inside) further away from the curb...and the devil. She told me that if you didn't bless your meal before you ate it that you would get indigestion. As a child, I sincerily believe that you are like a little sponge that soaks up everything you see and hear. You believe in the reality that is created by the adults around you, and part of you holds on to it forever. Part of me still believes that if I eat one bite without blessing it, I will get indigestion from that one bite.

Just because my parents aren't still the creators of my reality, they do still offer advice which I mostly take to heart and act upon as they have advised. I am mostly grateful for instructions, however there are some situations that I believe could be left to figure out on my own.

1. Voice messages: seriously, have you heard some of the messages explaining what to do? I'm not referencing the ones that we actually leave, but the ones where the automated lady comes on after your personalized message to give very important insstructions. In case you have been in a coma since 1989, wireless providers still keep these around. I especially like the really long one that explains how you can press 5 to leave a call back number. And then the one..."When you are finished with your message, you may hang up or press star for more options". Seriously do we still need this advice? Has anyone actually ever pressed "star" for more options?

2. Work out instructors: this includes instructors in person and via DVD/VCR. During an hour long work-out, my kickboxing, boot camp and spinning instructors all say things like..."Just one more set", "You're almost there...give it all you've got", or they dramatically count down 8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1. Anyone in the class can look up at the clock and see that we still have 53 minutes left to go. We are NOT almost there! As soon as we get "there", you're just going to give us something else painful and stressful to do. I agree that work outs are best accomplished in sets of short-term goals. But don't tell me I'm almost done, when we haven't even gotten to the set of 100 lunges across the room.

3. Fine print contracts: I have to tread carefully here because I used to read and write fine print for a career, so I know how important it is. However, we all know that we never read the fine print on anything anymore. If someone did read it, we'd think they were over-analytical and anal. I was filling out forms for my mission trip to Nicaragua, and the facility we're staying at requires each person to sign a waiver. It was only about a page, but I've gotten so used to skipping over anything that has a signature line at the bottom and just signing my name that I didn't read it initially. I went back and read it after the fact and realized I'd basically signed my life away if anything should happen to me. I'd like to see some sort of law that says that a summary of the fine print should also be provided containing all of the "important stuff that's actually going to apply to me". (Next time you see a credit card commercial on TV, look at the fine print that flashes up on one of the screens. If you can read it in the amount of time that it's up there, I will give you a dollar.)

4. Hot Warning labels: Another one to tread lightly on. Most of us know that any warning label is present either to prevent or to make good on a lawsuit. Do we really need to print "Hot Coffee" on coffee cups? Do we really need to say "Wait 3 minutes" after heating up a frozen dinner in the microwave? My initial answer is no. I asked for the coffee to be hot, so I'm going to wait a minute before I drink it, or spill it on myself. But thanks to our gold-digging citizens who have nothing better to do than hire a lawyer for everything that happens to them, I am forced to change my answer to yes. We sadly do need instructions to tell us not to burn our hands or tongues or any other body part on food that we requested to be hot. If I was a juror in a jury trial, I would ban the plaintant from microwaves and ovens until he could figure out how to not waste so many people's time on his stupidness.

Young at Heart :)

I’m a nanny this summer. While part of me feels like I’ve traveled back in time to being 19 years old, with no professional skills at all, another part of me enjoys sitting back and watching God’s creativity come alive in the words of a 3-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl. They say the most clever things, even when they are doing something wrong. I am slightly afraid that I won’t be able to seriously discipline my own children because I’ll be too busy laughing.

I thought I’d share some of the conversations I’ve had over the past 6 weeks. Reading over them, they’re much cuter in my head because I can picture their little faces and voice inflections, but I’ve tried my best.

Girl: When are you going to get married?
Me: I don’t know…sometime. When I decide to, are you going to come to the wedding?
Girl: Welllllllllllll…who is going to be your flower girl?

Boy: I’m done pooping in the potty!
Me: Are you sure?
Boy: Yes, my bottom is empty.

Me: I got shots in both of my shoulders so please don’t touch my shoulders at all today. You can touch my hands or the lower part of my arm, but not my shoulders, ok?
Girl: Can we touch your elbows?
Me: Sure, if you need to touch my elbows then you can. Why would you need to touch my elbows?
Girl: I don’t know…but I might need to
Boy: (very concerned) well when are you going to get better?

Me: (to the boy) You’re going to get a spanking when your mommy gets home if you keep talking back to me
Boy: No YOU’RE going to get a spanking
Me: I don’t think so
Boy: Yes. You. Are!!!
Me: Oh yeah, who’s going to give it to me
Boy: uhhhhh….your daddy?
Me: No
Boy: mmmmmm….your mommy?
Me: No
Boy: MY DADDY!
Me: Absolutely not

Girl: Leslie, did you bring your bathing suit today?
Me: no I forgot it in my purse
Girl: Why? Did your mommy forget to pack it for you?